January 22, 2005
boys will be boys
Over the past few weeks, tim and i have been reflecting on the wonderful blessings of our friends. We've really been thankful for our friends that have been such an inspiration and support, making us see more our sins and ever more Christ's love.
Today's pictures are of one such couple who came and visited us in atl. last week. Em and Phil (e.g. Al) came into town last weekend, enjoying a wonderful sunny weekend of great breakfasts, wine, and art (High museum). My only ones developed are of their wedding (last May) but seemed appropriate at this time. Mesh, you look great!
Speaking of weddings, Dave and Meadow are (finally) engaged!!!! It was very enjoyable to be part of the decoy for the proposal, seeing how we always have coffee Friday mornings. These are another two that have been a great blessing to Atl and our growth.
This might seem like a shock, but next week a girl from my church (Katrina) and I are probably going to go to the shooting range with her gun (i have NO idea what type). I am known, and WANT to be known, as someone who finds no need to own a gun and have it in my house. I wish and hope that they would only be used for sport and dexterity, rather than death and war. I don't usually like things like this. I think some (andy) are a bit shocked at how i can be supportive of tim's 'tae kwon do' and shooting range, and yet abhor many of these violent stereotypes. I am currently reading "Wild at Heart" which raves about the idea that men will be men, and we should let them be dangerous and adventurous...their true hearts. It seems like a load of crap to me!!!! Even more than his initial statements about how boys should be raised (all things which I will NOT let them do…own a toy gun, have a gun in the home, hit back, etc….it infuriates me that the author seems to insinuate that G-d is this way also (dangerous, spontaneous and adventurous)…seemly close to heresy if you ask me (i have ref. if you'd like!). None the less, Katrina and I will have a lot of fun I’m sure. We’ve loved getting to know she and Camillo.
Ahhh, another connection made as to the writer of a fellow atlblogger. It was fun hanging out with you guys at the Farquhar's for Dave and Meadow's engagement party.
If you think Wild at Heart is scary, you need to check out www.visionforum.com Apparently they believe the Old West and the American Frontier still define Christianity and roles for men and women. We're talking guns and hunting for boys, sewing and cooking for women. They seem to have forgotten alot of the junk the the American Frontier lifestyle had, like running off the Indians and such. It scares me how much people try to fit the seed of the gospel into their own particular flower pot, and think the flower pot is what is important, not the seed. The beauty of Christ is that he fits any culture. Okay, I'm done with my soapbox.
i love Em and Phil. Wish we could get to Philly more so that I could see them. Thanks for posting pics of their wedding. :)
Posted by: Jeannette at January 23, 2005 9:00 PMandyp, i love your soapbox!!! call us about settlers sometime.
Jeannette, i hear we owe you a (late) congratulations. the next time you come into atl. i would love to go get coffee with you (decaf. i suppose). let us know.
Posted by: ari at January 24, 2005 11:40 AMAri I'm with you on the boys will be boys. I do believe our survival instincts come from some of our basic animal, primitive history. These may even tody serve us to survive but mostly they are a problem. Today normally we do not have to be so aggressive as when we were in the wild with "eat or be eaten."
Children, boys in particular need to learn to control and/or redirect their aggressive instincts.
I don't think it can be extinguished but it must be limited, shaped and properly directed. No child should be rewarded for aggression toward a parent or toward a weaker person, animal or thing. I also believe the parent should model the behavior. If you hit, don't be surprised it some day the child hits you back.
Anyway I tried to limit it with you girls but I don't think I would have done anything differently if you had been boys.
Dad
Posted by: Dad at January 27, 2005 7:03 PMAri and Tim,
I'm with Dad. This encouraging of little boys or anyone for that matter, to explore or reinforce their violent tendencies does not work. Violent actions and desensitizing our children to violence just reinforces the notion that we live by the belief that the strongest and the meanest are the best. This particularly gets sticky when the "biggest and strongest" is a parent. Children cannot thrive and become responsible adults when they are continually the victim of an dominating adult or another child. I like to believe that as a society we would be able to at least try and advance ourselves to a high level of working out frustrations and anger. Even though I'm not naive enough to believe that we will ever be able to achieve this eutopia. Enough said!
I will be interested in hearing about your shooting range experience. Remember when dad and I went to Wyoming to that camp one summer? One of the days we were able to load and shoot a "single shot, black powder gun?", and also a rifle for skeet shooting and a pistol for target shooting and a cross bow. I really enjoyed all of these activities. I can see where people can get into target or skeet shooting as a sport. I even hit some! Hope you have a nice time. Love, Mom
Posted by: susan poston at January 29, 2005 5:51 PMi would just have to announce that if anyone had any doubts about how i am who i am, read the previous two comments. My mom and dad in many ways have formed me! I don't think it is possible to eliminate aggression/violence....we are depraved, but it can be desired.
also, i haven't gone to the shooting range yet. Katrina and i haven't had time. hopefully soon.
Posted by: ari at January 31, 2005 10:34 AM